An old poem

So I was rummaging through a valise filled with old writings and came across several pieces that I think I may post in the next several weeks. Believe it or not, the original thought behind this blog was not the ongoing internal monologue, laid bare for the world to see, but rather a place to work on a few writing projects that wander around in my head. Anyway, with the idea of writing in mind, here’s a poem from several years ago. I’ve been playing with this idea of a multi-threaded poem for several years, but I’m not sure it makes sense to anybody but me. Anyway, here goes nothing.

Knowing her has been bittersweet a constant conflict between feelings, principles and states of mind
To remember lingering in reverie			To remind advancing apprehensively
A doubled mind reeled and trebled as our paths approached diversity
To smile warmly, sincerely, fondly, but only warmly. Restraining the rest for now. Accepting the moment's brevity. Recognizing its momentum carrying when           to now                     to then. Leaving memory leaving friends.		To run wildly terrified, protective and wailing. Enraged at the fates making me meet her now NOW! Curse the circumstance! Sever the fingers that pulled us together at the knuckle never look back NEVER!                     never... the anger is diluted in frustration both distilled from the tears that seem to think never was better than now.		To kiss deeply electrified, abandoned fascinated by the depth of her smile the clumsy, impatient when of longing timidity answered in her lips the fullness of which bespeak           and                     articulate the hollow of the heart they fill.
If she'd never suggested she knew matching my confusion with her passive resignation I might have left content to be conflicted, immune to the consequence of inaction. Instead a unanimous unspoken conspiracy came discouraging discussion and forbidding distinction decisions disallowed by virtue of their clarity unable to embrace the growing complexity. With proximity receding, replaced by dissolution the half of me remaining wanders.
To remember regretfully in reaction to inaction			To restructure recollection straightening and sterilizing uncomfortable edges perceiving it best to forget.